When I Can't Do
With thanks to Megan
When the pain returns
I move from the power to do
to the power to love:
to love my body through nausea,
to love my heart through sorrow,
to love my mind as she lets go
of what she wants to hold in her grasp.
I love the part that wants to fix,
the part that wants to overcome,
the part that wants to conquer,
the part that wants to be on top.
I love the part that whimpers
and the part that braces.
I love the part that longs to tuck herself
inside the limb of a giant wing.
I love the ache and the spin,
the surge of adrenaline,
the refrain of worry that
plays its sticky hymn.
I love my body and all the plans
I have for her, my mental
imaginings of how she should look,
what she should do or what she should be.
Because I can't do I must love –
this body, this breath, this ache,
this woman, this wholeness, this life.
Look again, they ask. Please see
what I have made and call me good.
Years ago a line came in a poem, one that continues to accompany and support me: "Bless every good thing that slows me down." This theme of being slowed, of being stilled, of being sent down a different path than the one I'd planned shows up often for me.
In this poem the line, "Because I can't do, I must love," accompanied me all weekend. I find it to be a comforting friend whenever my actual life experience is different than how I'd imagined it to be, which is, well, just about always.
For those of you who have been enjoying my last few poems about the adventures of our Bailey dog, I have more coming. This weekend she chased a squirrel into the tree in our front yard, and then climbed halfway up the tree until I called her down. When she climbs trees and the squirrels look bewildered, I encourage them, "Save yourselves! Climb higher!"
“Play allows us a safe distance as we work on what’s close to our hearts.” - Mr. Rogers
Join me for Gathering Ourselves - December 18th
If you’re looking for a warm, supportive space to write, I offer 1 on 1 support where we use poetry, prompts, and our own creative expression to deepen self awareness, self compassion, and to nurture our unfolding.
I also facilitate groups with my friend Tamara, what we call Gathering Ourselves. Gathering Ourselves is a creativity circle to gently explore what's alive in us. We use imagery, poems, children's books, songs, prompts, and our own creative expression – whether it’s collage, writing, drawing or more – to nurture a more generous, compassionate relationship with our inner world.
You don’t have to think of yourself as creative or a writer to come - merely a desire to show up and play.
Our next circle is on Friday, December 18th from 10 am to 1 pm Pacific time/11 am to 2 pm Mountain/12 to 3 pm Central/1 to 4 pm Eastern/6 to 9 pm London time. We'll be exploring the theme of 'deepening into the dark,' and it will be a rich one. If you feel moved to join us, we'd love to have you!
O Nobly Born is a reader supported newsletter. If you appreciate receiving the poems of O Nobly Born, you can support this offering by subscribing to the newsletter or make a donation by credit card or through paypal at paypal@growinghumankindness.com. I cherish every donation, as they support this work and enable me to offer her freely to all.
With a grateful heart, Karly
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